You don’t necessarily need any special knowledge in order to random video chat, but you’ll end up discovering a few handy tricks one way or another…so you may as well find out the easy way. It’s like figuring out how to ride a bike. You’d eventually learn if you were teaching yourself, but it definitely helps to have someone there to show you how it’s done.

The good news is that most random chat sites, like Chatspin, make the process a breeze. With unlimited random chats and user-friendly formats, all you really have to think about is what you’re going to do once you’re face-to-face with a chat partner. On the other hand, it might be worth your while to think about what not to do as well – or you could just keep reading to find out!

1. Focusing too much on yourself

If you find yourself in a conversation for the first time in who knows how long, it can take actual effort not to launch into a stream-of-consciousness monologue about whatever’s on your mind. Even if you genuinely don’t mean to make the chat all about yourself, it could end up happening anyway if you don’t keep tabs on how much time you spend in the spotlight.

It’s important to remember that every chat is supposed to be a two-way conversation – you aren’t talking to a wall. The person on the other side of the screen might have their own ideas to chat about, but if they can’t get a word in edgewise, they’ll probably just leave to find a less talkative chat partner.

Do this instead:

Say you’re already in the middle of making an observation about how your job has changed (for better or worse) in the last year. After you’ve said your piece, ask your chat partner if they’ve experienced anything similar. It’s the simplest tactic in the world, but very effective at keeping a conversation balanced between both parties.

Of course, it also helps if you give them a chance to take the reins as well. The main thing is to make sure you’re reading the (chat) room. You probably have your own idea of how you like a chat to go, but your chat partner likely does as well. If you’re both going for a different dynamic, the chat may not work very smoothly. When you pay attention to the other person, though, you can avoid creating a lopsided chat.

2. Relying on your chat partner to supply all the fun

Random video chats can be a lot more than just two people talking; they can also be used for entertainment, such as playing games, singing karaoke, or showing off DIY projects. If you were just coasting through the random chats, you’d probably come across some partners who were more engaging than most; but they might not feel the same way about you.

From their perspective, you’re a chat partner who’s willing to go along with their idea. That isn’t always a bad thing, but it can also mean that you’re relying on other people’s efforts to make sure you’re entertained. Plus, your chats could have a lot more zing if the two of you were exchanging ideas, instead of one person doing all the thinking.

Do this instead:

Plan ahead! It doesn’t have to be complicated – just take five minutes to brainstorm some activities for the chats that need a little extra oomph. The best part is, you could re-use your ideas for each chat; it might be the same form of entertainment, but it’ll still be different because you’re doing it with a new chat partner.

You could play games like 20 Questions or Two Truths and a Lie, or see who has the best Elvis Presley impression. Do you have a pet who seemingly can’t get enough attention? It’s safe to bet that most of your chat partners would love to meet them! Offer to trade your favorite comfort-food recipe for theirs, or compete for the title of “worst dad joke”. It can be almost anything, so use your imagination!

3. Chatting with poor image quality or bad lighting

We’ve all heard that we aren’t supposed to judge books by their covers, but if all we have to go on is the image on our screen, there isn’t much else to form an initial opinion from. Unfortunately, if the sharp lines shown by your webcam come from visible pixels, that isn’t going to make the greatest impression on your chat partners. It’s not that they’re going to assume that you won’t be any fun; it’s just that this creates the idea that you don’t care all that much.

It’s much the same with bad lighting. If you look like you’re streaming from a basement that hasn’t been cleaned in 10 years, they simply won’t be as inclined to talk with you. This isn’t a value judgment on your character; it’s more of a subconscious preference for things that look more appealing.

Do this instead:

Random video chatting is a pretty casual pursuit for most people, so not everyone is going to make sure they’re broadcasting in 1080p – and you don’t have to either. However, 720p is about as low as you can go and still have a consistently sharp image. Lucky for you, it’s pretty easy to find budget webcams that can provide decent image quality; no need to break the bank to make a good impression.

As for lighting, you might end up having to improvise, but you’ll be glad you did. Steer clear of strong beams, drastic angles, or fluorescent bulbs – none of these light sources will be flattering at all. See what you can do with lamps, or even bounce a direct beam onto the wall in front of you to give a more diffuse light directly on your face. And just like with all the other tips, don’t stress about getting it just right – you have plenty of time to improve!